For the past 25 years, I have been on a never-ending quest. Long before the terms “man-purse” and “murse” became popular, I carried bags. Even though they were never standard briefcases, I always called them “briefcases” or “bags,” but they were clearly my equivalent of a purse.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I always thought that if I could find the “right” bag, my life would immediately be orderly and controllable. The proper combination of cell phone holders, pen pockets, laptop protection, room for my water bottles, maybe a camera on occasion, a New York Yankees baseball hat, a few notebooks and whatever book I was reading at the time, a padded shoulder strap AND (very important) a well-made handle, and – like magic – I would be good-to-go in any situation. My life would be complete. A place for everything and everything in its place.
Ryan Reynolds and "the" bag
To tell you how out of control my obsession is, I spent weeks (literally) on Google trying to figure out what kind of bag Ryan Reynolds carried in the movie “The Proposal” with Sandra Bullock. I can’t remember much about that movie (except the scene where Sandra Bullock dances in the woods with Betty White to “Get Low”), but I can tell you all about the leather and green canvas messenger bag Ryan Reynolds carried in about three scenes.
As a disclaimer, I spent the first twenty years of my career traveling about 70 to 75 percent of the time by air. At least three or four days every week, I lived out of bags. If it wasn’t in my suitcase or briefcase, I simply didn’t have it. I say this as a feeble attempt to justify my obsession and the amount of money I have spent on bags.
Now, let’s talk about bags. The criteria I used to justify the bags I purchased included; (a) it had to LOOK awesome and manly, (b) it had to have POCKETS and places for everything, and, (c) it had to be the right size for my 5’ 7” body. As I searched for the perfect bag, I became a connoisseur all things man purse. An expert in all things simultaneously manly and purse-ly. You would be hard-pressed to name a bag that I can’t give you the dimensions for, how much it weighs, and tell you the complete history of the company that manufactures it.
Now let me drop some knowledge on you. Here are the best-of-the-best. Bags I have owned and bags I still drool over but have never actually shelled out a week’s salary for. If you love me, feel free to use this as my Christmas and/or birthday list, I will gladly provide you with a shipping address if you’re feeling generous.
The J. Peterman Gladstone Bag (No. 1006) – This was the FIRST awesome bag I ever purchased and may, to this day, be the best guy-bag ever created. It was from the J. Peterman catalog and I was a complete victim of the way they wrote their catalog. The catalog said, “Try looking in the attic first. You don’t have one? Then it’s time maybe to go to the secret barn. Somewhere there is one. And it’s filled with everything. Look … there under that huge pile of saddles and hats … You trip on something. What is it? A leather suitcase of some kind. You lift it by its handles. It has old European hotel stickers on it. You grab it and practically run…you’ll come back to the barn some other time…
In broad daylight you examine it. A beautiful, mellow old leather Gladstone. (That’s what they used to call them.) Rather defiantly and ruggedly old-fashioned looking. Strong enough to go down the Nile, across the Alps, through the Canal, over the oceans, but still small enough to carry aboard a plane. A thing like this would cost a fortune these days…”
For a mere $385, it was mine (today it sells for $598). Other than my family, I may love this bag more than anything else in my life.
Mulholland Brothers Angler’s Bag – After purchasing the J. Peterman Gladstone bag, I found that it was actually made for J. Peterman by a San Francisco-based company called Mulholland Brothers. All of the Mulholland Brothers’ products are hand-made (literally). And, much to my surprise (and my wife’s dismay), they also made OTHER bags !! While I was on a business trip to San Francisco in the 1990s, I looked them up, tracked them down, and approached their doorway as if I were entering a holy site (I still think that their operation is a holy site). I believe it should be required that one remove his shoes before walking into Mulholland Brothers. I walked out with the Mulholland Brothers Angler’s Bag in “stout” leather. Like the Gladstone bag, it was made of saddle leather (the kind that will last about 1,000 years and still look awesome). For the next decade, I could rarely be found without this bag hanging from my shoulder. It racked up approximately 1.5 million air miles – for real – with United and US Airways and still looked like new. It was the perfect size and was about as important to me as my right arm. They still make this bag for $495.
Timbuk2 Messenger Bags – For the past few years, I have been using a Timbuk2 Messenger bag (I have two of them). They make high-quality, sporty bags that hold up very well, but (in my opinion) they will never compare to other bags I have known. I love them, but I am not IN love with them.
Which brings us to my next bag. There are three companies I am currently considering to build my next “perfect” bag. They are:
Saddleback Leather Company – This company makes an awesome bag in a variety of sizes and colors. All of them are manly, durable and unbelievably beautiful. I’m extremely partial to the large satchel in “chestnut” leather.
Roots – Although Roots is a Canadian company, I can still say this bag was made in the U.S. since Canada is really just a big suburb of America. They make nice, high-quality stuff and their prices are better than most of the bags I fall for. Their “Old School” bag and “Cargo Messenger” are on my list of possibilities.
Col. Littleton Satchel
Col. Littleton – The real object of my lust right now is actually made right here in Tennessee. Just south of Nashville, there is a company called Col. Littleton that produces some of the most unbelievable leather goods I have ever seen (and I’ve seen most … if not all of them). You need to check out their web site. Read about the Colonel (his office is a Civil War tent that still has bullet holes in it). Look at their bags. Wipe the slobber off of your keyboard … and then order the No. 37 Satchel for me. Please.
The last thing I will say about my very real problem with bags is that part of the reason I like these things is that they will long out-live me (or anyone else who carries one). In today’s world – with email, throw-away pens, cheaply-made clothing, and electronic equipment that is designed to be obsolete within a few years – there is something comforting about owning an item that your grandkids can fight over years from now. Does anyone actually have anything nowadays that could truly be called an heirloom? If so, consider yourself lucky.
It feels to me like it it could have used a little smiley face at the end … maybe one with its tongue sticking out.
